The end surely is at hand
I have long believed that life straightened itself out if you simply gave it time. I always assumed that by cracking open an egg I could extract a yoke, that by putting out my foot I would step forward. But all those hopes and dreams are gone now. I sit here facing the hard, dusty tile of the matter. Mankind has no hope for survival.
Don't put out your hand like a schoolyard traffic director. If you had opened the envelope that I opened today, and if you had read what I read today, you too would realize that the end is near, the temple is being built and the woman and the dragon will soon sweep across the earth in their maddening pursuit.
Do you know why I know this? Here's why:
We made a few nicks in the walls of dorm room during the year when we tried to move our bunkbeds. Two long scrapes, that is all. I should have just left them there and assumed that no one would notice them, but I could not. I still held to that higher standard, that code that says "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." So I bought some spackling and filled those holes in the wall. The wall was then flat, it looked good, it needed only a slight touch up in paint to cover the spackling. Sadly -- and this is my great mistake -- I did not put the paint on myself. That was all. I thought that perhaps I would be fined a few dollars for my impartial fix, but that I might receive at least a thank you note from an overworked maitenance guy.
But today I know the truth. I opened a letter from the Department of Student Housing (surely a leftover from the old communist regimes) and read to my surprise, that I owe the University of Kansas $250 for trying to fix their walls! Yes, that deserves an exclamation point.
So now this may be my final post. I have decided that since I can no longer have faith in human kind, I am moving to the mountains where I will tend flocks of sheep and share the companionship of a very white and large dog who will chase away the university bill collectors that will soon be coming for me.
Don't put out your hand like a schoolyard traffic director. If you had opened the envelope that I opened today, and if you had read what I read today, you too would realize that the end is near, the temple is being built and the woman and the dragon will soon sweep across the earth in their maddening pursuit.
Do you know why I know this? Here's why:
We made a few nicks in the walls of dorm room during the year when we tried to move our bunkbeds. Two long scrapes, that is all. I should have just left them there and assumed that no one would notice them, but I could not. I still held to that higher standard, that code that says "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." So I bought some spackling and filled those holes in the wall. The wall was then flat, it looked good, it needed only a slight touch up in paint to cover the spackling. Sadly -- and this is my great mistake -- I did not put the paint on myself. That was all. I thought that perhaps I would be fined a few dollars for my impartial fix, but that I might receive at least a thank you note from an overworked maitenance guy.
But today I know the truth. I opened a letter from the Department of Student Housing (surely a leftover from the old communist regimes) and read to my surprise, that I owe the University of Kansas $250 for trying to fix their walls! Yes, that deserves an exclamation point.
So now this may be my final post. I have decided that since I can no longer have faith in human kind, I am moving to the mountains where I will tend flocks of sheep and share the companionship of a very white and large dog who will chase away the university bill collectors that will soon be coming for me.
posted by Cap'n Geech at 6:18 PM
7 Comments:
Dear Sam...you can certianly ask Melanie or any other person who knows me that I am no stranger to random bill collectors..(It truely is a travisty in life)..However don't let "The Man" get you down...you had a good heart and tried to do something that would show you as a responsible adult, but like this perverted and backwards world that we abide in you end up getting the complete booty shaft.(Yes that's correct I said booty shaft) Take comfort in the fact that Jesus knows what you did and where your heart was...and you were being a servant and that makes him happy. Also, Sam, please don't let this be your last post I enjoy your blogg, it breaks up the tedium that I suffer daily working at the bank. (Although moving to the mountians and raising sheep is not a bad idea...) Take care Sam and don't lose faith...cause "The Man" will try to get you but you musn't dwell....Rachel Reed
i think you should name the dog 'dexter.' my friend amy and i were boating today and a dragonfly came and landed on our boat and hung out for awhile and we named him dexter. he was cool. he understood english. i sat quietly and listened as we poured out our hearts. if you ever need someone to talk to, anyone with the name 'dexter' is a good choice. especially if you need to vent about those stupid bill collectors pounding on your door at all hours of the night.
I may be reconsidering the mountains. Right now, the white trash neighborhoods that have steps down to the Delaware River are looking pretty good, but I have a whole blog post about that which I will get to writing sometime soon.
Hey, Sam, cheer up! Listen to Rachel. She's absolutely right. As is Dana: Dexter is a good name for a guard/companion dog. And please don't stop posting!
~Betsy
Sam~ my heart crys to know that you must experience the wrath of the university, as misplaced as it may be. But I offer you what I have... Melissa and I plan on running away to a ranch (destination unknown as of today) we will have horses and a cow and our friend Brian. You are welcome to take refuge from the ridiculousness of life with us there. We could even allow your input on the location.
Maybe you can at least take refuge in the fact that obviously many people think you're quite noble, but if you like you could escape to Oklahoma the weekend of the 2nd, you can't run away from the nasty communist regimes (regean must have missed one)but you can ignore them and have fun for a few days!! :)
(ya know... I never got invited to that ranch you guys *tear* ;) ...)
Oh,I'm coming to the ranch and Oklahoma over the weekend. And as to the communists, why didn't Reagan get rid of the whole university system? That and China are the only major communist organizations left in the world.
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